Post by Magnii on Jun 1, 2005 22:13:58 GMT -5
I stole this from another board....cause it's funny.
1. Ewoks take the time to have their own language, dammit! Not some racist, ebonics pseudo English.
2. Ewoks take cover in a battle, use sneak attacks. Gungans go out in the middle of a field and wait patiently for the droids to get organized to slaughter them.
3. Ewoks never say die, and don’t need some stinking shield. Gungans bolt as soon as it went down.
4. Ewoks, with a vine around its ankle, damn near trip a 50ft robot. Jar-Jar can’t get half a six foot robot off his ankle without nearly killing everyone around him.
5. Paploo takes 300 mph joyrides and manages to dismount Spider-Man style. Jar-Jar can’t hang on to a slow moving tank.
6. Ewoks are smart enough to put their clumsy troops (Wicket) in the back where the most he can do is clock himself with a rock. Gungans made Jar-Jar a General.
7. Spears are easily found in any tree-covered back yard for a 10 year old to use his imagination, unlike those blue glowy splat balls.
8. Ewoks take the superior weapons from the enemy and use those weapons against them. Jar-Jar has to be told to take out the tank driver and still screws it up.
9. As any ten-year old boy will tell you, tree houses are way cooler than underwater X-mas tree ornaments.
10. Gungans are easily manipulated by the heroes into giving them marine equipment. Ewoks attempt to barbecue the heroes. (They keep the hot princess for themselves.)
11. Gungans fight to save the Naboo. Ewoks fight because they had the entire saga told to them and became Star Wars fanboys.
12. Gungans had to be saved by a ten year old blowing up a space station. Ewoks took care of business so that the rebels COULD blow up a space station.
13. Warwick Davis became the premier small actor in movies. Ahmed Best was last seen living in a dumpster behind a Home Depot.
14. Men in suits beat CGI any day.
15. Ewok parties involve BONFIRES IN TREES! Gungans just have gay kid's parades. ;D
1. Ewoks take the time to have their own language, dammit! Not some racist, ebonics pseudo English.
2. Ewoks take cover in a battle, use sneak attacks. Gungans go out in the middle of a field and wait patiently for the droids to get organized to slaughter them.
3. Ewoks never say die, and don’t need some stinking shield. Gungans bolt as soon as it went down.
4. Ewoks, with a vine around its ankle, damn near trip a 50ft robot. Jar-Jar can’t get half a six foot robot off his ankle without nearly killing everyone around him.
5. Paploo takes 300 mph joyrides and manages to dismount Spider-Man style. Jar-Jar can’t hang on to a slow moving tank.
6. Ewoks are smart enough to put their clumsy troops (Wicket) in the back where the most he can do is clock himself with a rock. Gungans made Jar-Jar a General.
7. Spears are easily found in any tree-covered back yard for a 10 year old to use his imagination, unlike those blue glowy splat balls.
8. Ewoks take the superior weapons from the enemy and use those weapons against them. Jar-Jar has to be told to take out the tank driver and still screws it up.
9. As any ten-year old boy will tell you, tree houses are way cooler than underwater X-mas tree ornaments.
10. Gungans are easily manipulated by the heroes into giving them marine equipment. Ewoks attempt to barbecue the heroes. (They keep the hot princess for themselves.)
11. Gungans fight to save the Naboo. Ewoks fight because they had the entire saga told to them and became Star Wars fanboys.
12. Gungans had to be saved by a ten year old blowing up a space station. Ewoks took care of business so that the rebels COULD blow up a space station.
13. Warwick Davis became the premier small actor in movies. Ahmed Best was last seen living in a dumpster behind a Home Depot.
14. Men in suits beat CGI any day.
15. Ewok parties involve BONFIRES IN TREES! Gungans just have gay kid's parades. ;D
